Venting the pent up!

hey guys,m back..

hope someone missed me..i havent been able to check on anyones post and m sorry haven been able to tlk 2 u my sweet pallu..but maybe i needed this distance to reassert myself(moreover,i had no access to the internet,so its mostly this case heehee)

so today m writin for no definite reason but just to touch that sensitive part of myself which i think i have lost in this blur of competition.to remind myelf that i do have a brain that can think rather than emulate and imitate..to realise the importance of not losing myself in all this repetition..and just to b here..where i can write whatever the hell i want...

describing my lapse period,i would say that starting afresh at a new place was a good idea..i really got up from my ass and started living again(rather than sittin and lamenting all day long )..i made a couple of new friends,found some old ones back..enjoyed the sun warming my face in this cold beautiful winter..and felt the chill to the bones,draped in a saree at my cousin's wedding..

al in all a new avtar..but this stupid heart..it belongs no where but here..it would love nothin more than penning down my thoughts(however insignificant they may be) on my blog...and so it craved and craved..till 2nite..

i even had a couple of crushes(brand new****)both on my teachers,who unfortunately are married and one of them have kids too..crashed a wedding(well not so mch crashed,bt it was of somene i din knw..a fren's fren's sister's)...shopped till i was breathless..ahem..m i sounding girly??what the heck..i am a GIRL!

now coming to the venting of my emtions..well to be frank..there havent been any..i truely have mastered the art of pasting the plastic smile on my face..and sometimes,the illusion of being happy makes me happy too..i dont give myself enough time to think of whatever happened,or whatever is going to happen..

but sometimes,it is hard,because life would never always be this happy-go-lucky...and i wish i wouldnt meet anyone who showes this stark realiy to my face..but then at every new turn of my life God has this miraculous way to show me tht all i did was to move in a circle,and again i would b back to sqaure A..jst frm where i bloody started!!

i severely hope im not making any sense..because i dont want to..since this is somthing im wary to pen down as well..just waiting for a realese through the 'tap-tap' of my fingers..want the negative to leave my body for a while..and to derive positives from my own words..


"sundry the moment,my throat is clogged,
the past does not wish to pass,
cold and clammy my hands feel,
but still...i wont let a tear befall..."