The world of pink furry fluffy clouds!!

sometimes i wonder if its jst me whos this hopelessly crazy about a fairytale life or is there other people out there like me too.who believe in sch things as true love and happily ever after.not dat i need many bt i jst wish there ws some1 out there who wud know wat it feels like to b a part of this cynical reality,this hope against hope dat soulmates exist and dat i will find mine in this lifetime.

because i jst knw dat i cant live with pretence,because i think dat is what i hv been doing my whole life.i hv pretended to b a perfect daughter,a perfect friend,a perfect student..but deep down i knw its all a farce.i havnt been perfect at all...maybe everything i ever wanted was something what they wanted,my family,my friends..i wud devise new ways to please them.bt as i grew older,the desire to please lessened,and i turned into me.someone who could easily break hearts,ignore tears,tell lies without the bash of an eye...some kind of a monster woman..brash,unkind,uncaring..

bt i think thats what life does 2 u..it teaches u how to live...it teaches u to take ur head out of the furry pink clouds and see hw everyone is out there to use yu,a little slip and u can fall headlong..so a hopeless romantic like me is unleashed onto a world like this and what do u get...as the sayin goes'when in rome..and blah blah'.

and nw m on this planet where all u get to knw while growin up is how to slit the throat of the person sittin next to u,cuz by God,its competition..and hw to make friends and leave them at the altar of ur career,cuz its wat they'd do 2 u anyway..and how to catch the right guy who'd better b a good husband material,and if not,he shud b carrying shitloads of money.WTF!!!

and i'd b damned if i care about all dat..i could never choose a friend for me,or as a matter of fact a guy..they jst came along and stuck..and got unstuck and rolled away..and sometyms,when they stuck for too long,i had to distance myself...all for my career..i needed to b focussed,they made me look at the fun side of life,and then thats is all pink furry clouds again!!we cant have that can we???

so i turned out to b this multi faceted personality who is jst whiffs away frm madness...my friends notice in me an occasional outburst of friendliness,love,warmth...and at other times,im as away frm their lives as i might never hv been there!!!and at those moments of hiding in my shell,i prepare myself to go again in that ugly masked world...

and im all well till i talk to my pals again.who are the epitomes of GOD i think,they turn me back into the frizzy jello-kinds mushed up grl who thinks life is full of pink furry fluffy clouds...

and with my head in those clouds i find everything beautiful..

my life gets alight with the beautiful moments i share with each n everyone of them,even if they are complainin or scolding me for disappearing,its nice,it shows they care.
and it makes me believe in fairytales and happily ever after again...

so here im thinkin of exactly the same thing with sucha random chain of thoughts,being crazy enough to even write about that.

i suppose its tym to go back into d shell again,its too much mush for nw..

in the end i want to thank my Gods,who make me believe in being happy

nallu-i love u grl.if i were a guy,i'd hv definitely married u!i dnt think i can find myself someone better,or even lyk u.i miss u sweetheart.

chotu-i no u'll cmplain dat i had d tym to write on dis stupid blog than call u,bt i had to.to say dat i miss u.miss our fights,and fights and fights.i think u get d idea;)

goldy-i had been sucha bad frend leavin u like dat,bt u were there for me wen i needed smone badly.and nw as its sch a joyous time of your life,i wish u all the happiness in the world.

and pallu-i knw we've recently found one another bt i feel like i've known u all my life.thanx for being such a wonderful person that u are.

all of u have in some way touched my soul,and made me find beauty in this ugly world.knwing u guys,i've found God,and the faith that i will find true love.but i will need ur blessings for that;)